A short definition of Quiet Quitting

There are several definitions and posts out there explaining the meaning of Quiet Quitting and how the term became popular. In short you can say that a Quiet Quitter is not going ‘above and beyond’ for the job. It’s a conscious decision to only to the bare minimum, no extra time, effort or engagement. A Quiet Quitter becomes actually more quiet.

The reasons for that could differ (see below). In a nutshell: you still are doing what is your duty, but nothing more than that. You unsubscribe from the 80 hours weeks, the weekend projects or the dull work that “someone has to do”.

I think you got the basic concept. Let’s just go a little deeper before we explore the effects of Quiet Quitting for your self confidence. In the end I would like to give some background about Quiet Quitting and Quiet Firing.

Phases of Quiet Quitting explained – what you need to know

Based on observations of experts from the fields of HR, Leadership and Management you can define different phases which are following each until the point of a silent or, in the end, a real resignation. Here are some examples how Quiet Quitting look on the “outside”

Phase 1 “Silence”: for example reducing contributions and becoming very silent, not offering opinions or take part ins planning new projects, not turning on camera in Zoom meetings
Phase 2 “Saying No”: starting to cut back hours, do tasks only after they are officially assigned to you, stop working at weekends and refuse to do any kind of over hours, no intention of doing more than the minimum of work you signed-up for
Phase 3 “Avoiding to be there”: call in sick often even if you are not ill, cut back on interaction with your colleagues, find excuses for team meetings or any out-of-office activities with colleagues
Phase 4 “Resignation”: either you are still there (but only to show up) or you are handing in your resignation

On the “inside” the reasons why you are Quietly Quitting can differ. Some things that Quiet Quitters have in common: they are missing good communication, a good enough purpose, a feeling of belonging, the power to really have an impact and a mid- or long-term perspective. And that all can be connected to your self esteem.

Know the effects of Quiet Quitting for your confidence

Wanna know something weird? Quiet Quitting can have positive or negative effects on ones confidence at the same time.

Positive effects:

Making such an important decision about your life can boost your self-esteem.
You feel in charge of your destiny. This can give you the right amount of confidence for the projects you would like to to spend time on outside your work environment (e.g. community or social work, spending quality time with friends or family, doing projects against climate change).
You distance yourself actively from the negative aspects of your job and might become more relaxed in stressful situations. You know that there is is something positive out there. And that’s why you are able to not let a stupid comment or a less than perfect result get under your skin and weaken your self esteem.
You might be able to be even more empathetic with the problems of your colleagues or your boss because you have this distance. To adopt a certain level of “it doesn’t matter” could free up some courage to speak your mind or take the side of a colleague in trouble. You could be a wingwoman or coach to them. That could give you an extra confidence boost.

Negative effects:

If you are taking yourself out of the equation by stopping to participate and engage with your colleagues (like you did before) these colleagues might turn their back at you. You might be seen as someone hindering the process and get the job done. This is normally not helping with your confidence.
If you are, like so many of us, gaining confidence by getting positive feedback, the lack of this feedback will have a negative effect. To underperform in a group will lead to negative or at least critical feedback. Bosses or colleagues might not only question your recent performance but also start questioning the past and your future achievements. How will you manage this day in day out? What does this evaluation of your abilities mean for all the important stuff you are planning to do outside of work?
It is exhausting to not care about things. Believe it or not, humans are coded to be engaged. It is in our DNA. To actively chose to not care eight hours a day can be exhausting. Also because you might feel the urge to take care of things outside the job more and more to fill that void. This will lead to big leaps between hours where you are super indifferent and super engaged. An exhausted mind is normally not good in building confidence.

Can you boost confidence by not Quietly Quitting even if you would like to?

On a short note: I really cannot answer that for you. It is a very individual decision. Personally I saw a lot of people silently resigning, and for me the majority didn’t seem happy with the decision. This is because they didn’t had a good plan and a vision how they would spend the time they gained and make use of the energy they saved. If you are lucky to find that project/that group of people who give you the necessary positive feedback and give you the feeling of making an impact, you can balance out the negative effects of Quietly Quitting on your confidence while keeping your job. But you have to plan it and you should review if a job change could be the better solution for you. Many companies are realizing that work-life-balance is important and are open to the transformation processes that comes with that. It is worth to do some research and apply.

Three tips to stay confident in a quiet quitting experience

Try this if you only have a few minutes today!

Start your day with setting yourself a goal for the time you do not spent at work.
Engage with people outside work every day. Don’t isolate yourself too much. Keep in mind to not complain only about the “stupid job” while you are with these people but to concentrate on other topics.
End your day with remembering a moment of strength, e.g. when you said NO to something instead of YES or set a boundary.

Quiet Quitting – a trend?

The term became a trend in 2022 but the concept of the silent resignation is known for a long time. What makes it special is that it’s trending with Gen Z – an age group that has not so much experience in the job market, yet. You might argue that an age group with only a couple of years of work experience should not be that dissatisfied with their jobs to making such a life changing decision early in their careers. So why are they talking so much about it?

If you belong to the Gen Z group you’ve probably joint the work force shortly before or during the Covid-19-pandemic, in a phase of major crisis like climate change and the war in the Ukraine. It is the time of the “Great Resignation”in the US and a time where the way we worked changed (only remote, digital, online conferences or in even more demanding environments like the Health Care sector). But it was and is also in a time where you can sense millions of opportunities out there due to new technology and digitalization. Social Media foster the possibility to connect with people from all around the world, to see and read about their achievements. You are able to build networks outside work (an option that the Boomer and the Gen Y generations didn’t had in that capacity) and even collaborate easily via Social Media or the Cloud or virtual worlds like Meta.

Work is not necessarily “the-place-to-be” you need for your personal development. Therefore it is not surprising to see a lot of younger people’s decision to not let their job be the highest priority. A Gallup survey from 2022 shows: American workers are more and more tending to be unengaged. They are missing flexibility, purpose and fulfillment HR-experts and company leaders are starting to become very concerned as this is not a hype but seems to be a major shift on how a job is evaluated and which role work plays overall. And, if it is a long-lasting trend for young employees to not overvalue the job and e.g. to work part-time just to have more time for friends, surfing, a social project or a second job, what effect does this trend have on businesses in the very near future?

My personal POV

For me (being a Generation Y member) quietly quitting at this point in my life would come based on a background of hundreds if not thousands of small situations and frustrations at work. A Quiet Quit today would probably be a result of being worn-out and bored-out over several years. A constant drain of my self confidence due to lack of positive results or achievements. Because:

this is not the 100-percent-fulfillment I am searching for
I have a boss who is getting on my nerves
there is a glass ceiling for me
the next promotion will never materialize
I am too convenient for my company in my recent position.

If I would become a commodity, why would I go the extra mile? Especially if there is a to-do-list waiting at home. People in their 40s or 50s are facing the double or triple challenge of career – kids – and nursing your elderly parents which clashes with my very own personal wish to finally live my dream and be happy. It would be a prioritizations exercise that would lead to de-prioritizing the job as a source of frustration.

Quiet Quitting would be an expression of the bigger changes in my life that I probably not have been actively seeking for but that are just thrown at me (like taking care of elderly parents). And until some of the big challenges are not solved, the job might be the one challenge that needs to be placed low on my personal priority list. That’s why it is so important for companies to work together with their long-term employees to find the right balance between work, care-work and private-work to keep their people motivated and engaged.

Be Careful with Quiet Quitting…your employer could decide to do exactly the same: Quietly Firing you.

If your boss becomes aware of you Quietly Quitting your job – which is in itself not a good enough reason to get laid off – she or he could get the idea to Quietly Fire you. As a Quietly Fired employee you will not get the interesting projects anymore. You could also be re-located or forced to leave the team to work on your own. They might isolate you. Sometimes they try to bore you out. Why? To make you turn your quiet resignation into a real resignation. To actively fire someone is not easy, it takes a large amount of work and it often costs the company a lot of money. That’s why it is better for the company when you resign yourself. And they have strategies to make your work life harder and harder. Your job will become less and less fulfilling and what sounded like a good pro-active plan on your end could be extended ten-fold by a passive-aggressive manager who wants to “manage you out”.

For this reason you should be careful. As outlined Quiet Quitting is a long-term process that in itself could lead to a dip in your self confidence. So when you are already feeling that dip, the next level escalation to become Quietly Fired could do further damage to your confidence as that normally takes a toll to mental health.

You can check out the effects of being quietly fired e.g. on The Week .

And you can learn about breaking bad habits in our brand new eBook “Breaking the Habit”. Get your free copy now.

I’ll leave you with that and would love to hear from your experiences with Quiet Quitting!

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